Ancient Songs and Green Magic

A Search for What Is Real in the Amazon Jungle of Peru

by David P. Crews___

9-19-06 Tuesday

I'm feeling fine after a good, short night's sleep, but I'm concerned about the strong episode last night, in case it is something specific to me, which would make it likely to happen again. Many of the other participants came up to give me love and encouragement. Don Rober came up to me and asked if I was "bien?" I assured him I was fine, and he smiled and patted me on the back.

Howard reassured me that "Ayahuasca can do that!" This kind of episode is rare, but it is something that can turn out to have deep meaning later on. He told me that it was highly unlikely that I would have an episode like that again, but if I did, I would know how to handle it.

After breakfast, Don Rober started administering our flower baths.
The flower bath is a ritual bathing with river water mixed with very aromatic flower petals – sounds nice, but that water is COLD!

The flower bath is the official ending of the Ayahuaca session. This serves to close up our pores and also to close up the psychic space that was opened in the ceremony. It is essential to the process. Don Rober dips out the water and pours it over me – head to toe, and I squealed like a pig, causing him to laugh.

Then, he smokes the mapacho, blowing the healing smoke into my hair, and whistles his icaros while patting with his shacapa. The overall effect (after recovering from the shock of the cold water) is one of peace and comfort. I always felt very grateful to Don Rober after he finished my flower baths.

We will be going back-to-back sessions with ceremony number two tonight.
At dusk we all gathered for our talking-stick discussions of last night's session. Each person in turn holds a large carved stick and speaks as long as they want without interruptions or questions.

Most of the others described their sessions last night as mellow and pleasurable experiences and even commented on how weak the Ayahuasca mixture seemed.

I was nearly last to speak, so I had a bit of fun, then, when my turn came and I said with a big smile "Well . . . I had a psychotic episode!" (this got a good-hearted laugh); and then I said, "But WE are much better now!"

After today's activities and sharing all our experiences, I am feeling much more confident coming into session two tonight.

While waiting to go into the 8:30 pm session, several of us were star-gazing on a nice, clear night. I was hoping to see the Southern Cross, which I've never seen before, but it was too far to the South into the trees. The Milky Way was gorgeous out here in the dark skies of the Amazon.

Toé or Angel's Trumpet blossoms
(Brugmansia)

Ayahuasca session two. Tuesday night.

My Intention ths time was a modification of last night's. It was: “Let me SEE, Let me LEARN without hurting me, and please HEAL me.”

One of the important characteristics of Ayahuasca that separates it from being categorized as a drug is the fact that the effects are never the same twice, and they are often profoundly different from one drinker to the next, even from the exact same cup of the brew. Ayahuasca seems to fit itself perfectly to each person and to take each person on a specific pathway that has continuous and connected meaning.

Then it was time to partake of the tea again.
Although others found it truly disgusting, the drink seemed about the same to me tonight – not that bad. I had no trouble drinking it or keeping it down.

I must admit to some trepidation leading into the onset of the effects tonight, waiting to see if I would be launched into hyperspace again. When the onset came, it was quite different from before and I could tell it was going to be ok. Much relief!
Now, perhaps, I can just relax and enjoy it more, and try to see and learn as much as possible.

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I did not have the same level of high-voltage buzzing as last night. The buzzing came up strongly, but not nearly so overwhelming. Plus, I did not break out in a full sweat as before, so I was MUCH more comfortable throughout the five or six hours.

This buzzing in my extremities, limbs, and face was actually rather enjoyable now. I perceived the facial effect as a kind of blue neon mask that I decided to call "monkey face". I decided that this overall effect must be what is normally experienced in a session, and I was happy to relax into it.

Then, as Don Rober sang his icaros, I drifted into vision space and the first imagery I saw was a simple matrix of white dots. This faded and became a series of scenes of photographically realistic architectural details – an exterior wall with a part of a window frame in view; a kitchen wall of pretty tiles; a porch floor of nice wooden slats, and so on. The views of these were all in slow motion, as if I were a camera on a dolly.

Also, these visions all had an emotional overlay connected to them that I can only express as a combination of poignancy, melancholy, and perhaps, regret or sublime sadness.

I drifted in and out of visions after this, but I can't recall them very well. I don't yet believe I've crossed this level's threshold into the kind of visions that most of the others are obviously experiencing.

I had a very relaxed and pleasant experience overall tonight, and the icaros were great. The energy was really much better. Everone was sighing or laughing in their visions throughout the night – except for me.

I did purge tonight, about an hour in. It was very clean and good, and long. It felt very cleansing and it made me more comfortable for the rest of the session. This is perhaps the first time I have ever purged as a healthy process instead of as a reaction to being ill.

Toward the end, I leaned back into my pillow and tried to concentrate on the visions that were left to me as I rested, but the visions were not strong, and the session seemed mundane to me overall. I admit to being somewhat disappointed with this turn of events, but I know that visions are not the only value of an Ayahuasca session and that sometimes, they simply do not come

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We ended at about 2:00 am and I went back to my room to sleep well the rest of the night.